


watch out for it

by roboboops



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Cliffhangers, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Honor, Hurt/Comfort, Of some sort?, Time Skips, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 15:26:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14957201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roboboops/pseuds/roboboops
Summary: The side of Lan Fan that was a hopeless, oblivious girl that craved romance would come out when she would realize Ling cares for her. It would hit her in the middle of the night where she would forget that her left arm was non-existent.





	watch out for it

**Author's Note:**

> an old self indulgent fic that i wrote, mostly for myself. i was a sucker for writing hurt/comfort and i still am. please forgive me if its cringey and ooc! this was one of the first fics ive ever written.

Lan Fan remembers that she was seven years old, walking with her grandfather in his garden, her small hand in his big, calloused ones. She’d hop on the stone path as Fu would calmly walk beside her.

“I think I like Ling.”, the young girl mutters under her breath. Her child-like innocence at the time didn’t understand the severe weight of the statement she just made.

She had liked Ling for as long as she’d known him but something inside of her reached out and told her it was wrong, so she decided to tell Fu. To her surprise, the old man doesn’t scold her but instead he sighs and gives the girl a sad smile.

“Lan Fan,” Fu starts, crouching down to her level while putting a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Loving the emperor seems harmless, but it can give you serious backlash if that love grows. A bodyguard’s heart is hard as stone, as cold as ice. You mustn’t show emotion, and you mustn’t show care. It makes the enemy think you’re vulnerable and weak.”

“So does that mean you do not care for me, grandfather?”, she asks, with a hint of sadness in her voice.

“Oh, oh no.” Fu whispers, cupping a hand on the girl’s cheek. “I may not say it so much, dear, but I do in many different ways. Like when I tell you to put on your hood because it is raining, when I tell you to always sheathe your daggers when you don’t need them because you might accidentally wound yourself, and even when I tell you to eat properly because the soup might spill on you.”

He flashes a quick frown, but it disappears so quickly that Lan Fan almost didn’t see it. The man stands up, his hand still firm on his granddaughter’s. He strokes her tiny fingers with his thumb softly, for he knows that one day this innocent young girl will take the lives of several people. Even if it was against her will, those hands of hers will one day be covered in blood.

“There are many ways to word it.”, he sighs, looking up at the azure sky above. “You just have to listen and watch out for it.”

 

 

* * *

 

  
It was foolish of her to ever think, even for a second, that the young master might be in love with her. The words of her grandfather would find themselves ringing in her head.

_You just have to listen and watch out for it._

The side of Lan Fan that was a hopeless, oblivious girl that craved romance would come out when she would realize Ling cares for her. It would hit her in the middle of the night where she would forget that her left arm was non-existent.

She remembers being carried by him on his shoulder, ashamed that the one she is supposed to be protecting is protecting her instead. She remembers him telling her to hang on and to not give up. She remembers him wrapping his top around her to prevent her from losing too much blood. She remembers what brave things he’d say when she’d try to convince him to leave her behind.

_A king is nothing without his people!_

She remembers it all. You could never forget the things Ling says.

 

 

* * *

 

 

She still dreamt of her grandfather in her sleep.

She would find herself sitting in front of him on his table at home, where he’d be sipping a cup of tea while listening to the rustling of the leaves dancing with the Xingese wind.

 _The winds are harsh_ , he’d say, _and so are the things that will happen to you. But remember the leaves that dance with the wind, and the stems they rest on that do not snap and fall. They are beautiful and graceful still, despite the taunts of the air. They dance in their adversity. Remember them, Lan Fan._

“I remember.”, she would whisper, tears welling up in her eyes. She spent so much time thinking of nurturing herself, strengthening herself, and growing to be the strongest bodyguard there was that she forgot her grandfather was growing old too.

Even in her grandfather’s last minutes, never in her life did he ever say he loved her. Directly, at least. But of course, she knew he did. It was there. It didn’t need to be said, for they already knew.

“I remember.”

_Wake up. There is much work to do._

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Lan Fan!”

The girl swiftly sat up in a cold sweat, still tasting the salt of her tears. They were on the desert back to Xing, their home. She looks at the young master beside her, his face plastered with worry. He puts a hand on her cheek without hesitation and Lan Fan flinches. And yet, she can’t help but smile.

“You’re crying.”, he says, stroking tears away with his thumb. His voice is serious, almost husky, but the young master never failed to have that one hint of care in whatever tone of voice he’d make, even if he was angry. Lan Fan loved that about him. Suddenly, he holds the back of her head and pulls her towards his chest. At any other time, Lan Fan would immediately pull away and tell him how wrong this scene was, but this wasn’t one of those times. She was tired. Too tired, in fact, to the point that she’d start thinking of herself. All she could think of now, though, was the steady heartbeat of her master. It calmed her like a lullaby to a baby.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.”, he whispers over and over, stroking her hair gently with his calloused and rough hands. Before she knew it, she was clinging onto his shoulders for dear life. _How could this man be so selfless?_ , Lan Fan asks herself.

She thought for a second if him comforting her was a sign of love, a sign that Fu told her to watch out for. Maybe it was just in his blood to do this, and of course she’d never have the guts to ask the young master directly if he had really loved her at all, and it pains her to know that maybe she’ll die not even hearing the words “I love you” from Ling. And she knows that there will be a hundred women yearning for his love, so who is she, a mere bodyguard, to intervene?

These thoughts are too familiar to her, and yet it still hurts. She continues to sob.

He doesn’t ask her why, and she is grateful.


End file.
